Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Today's Lecture: TCC's Hierarchy of Hotness

(bell ringing) Class, please take your seats. We have a lot of ground to cover in a short time for today’s lecture. Welcome to Professor TCC’s class, “The Art and Science Behind Getting In…Or Not!,” formerly known as “The Art of Getting In: 101!,” previously referred to….ah heck, just sit down and take out your note pads!!!!

Before we jump right into “TCC’s Hierarchy of Hotness,” the importance of knowing your place within the “HOH” and how you can (or for some of you), why you can’t get in, I want to make sure we’ve covered all the bases with an introduction to the basics.  For today’s lesson, we’ll start by defining what “in” means in concrete, specific terms...or in a completely abstract, metaphorically intangible sense.

 ‘In’ can be an elusive, relative term that is often a moving target depending on where you fit within ‘TCC’s Hierarchy of Hotness,’ otherwise known as the social food chain. ‘In’ on a Saturday night is very different than ‘in’ on a Wednesday night. Maneuvering ‘in’ for XXXX’s (insert current A-list celebrity’s name here) after-party takes a different level of skill than ‘in’ for a regular night at the same spot! Got me?

Now that we’ve defined the “what” of in and established that just being there is not necessarily here (that totally made sense right?), let’s identify who can get in, or again not, and why. Like it or not, social food chains have existed long before any of us were here. But before I digress into a long discourse on the historical perspective of “the in-crowd in pre-historic days” (chap 1 of the forthcoming book!), what’s most important to know is that they are still alive and well.

Ladies, think “Mean Girls

Bros, trust me, you’re always vying for a place in a perpetual Entourage!

Heck, even nerds know that every superhero didn’t have cool enough powers to be inducted into The Superfriends or The X-men!!!
These are real SUPERFRIENDS

These are real nerds!!!
Like it or not, CLIQUES RULE and whether you’ve been chosen to be in one or have chosen not to participate at all, both mean you are still part of one. Now the good news is that if you are attending today’s class, you want to change that and get into the game or take your game to a whole ‘nother level. 

I don’t want to give you too much to digest in one class, just in case you figured out you are a total social outcast (see pic above) and may need a moment to process that! Tissue? So I am going to finish out today’s class by giving you the categories of “TCC's HOH,” which we will begin to break down more in-depth in the weeks to come. Here they are presented in my own, highly technically constructed inverted Egyptian pyramid. Pay no (ALL) attention to the (subtly hidden) fact that it's a rainbow:

Obviously, the majority of people are at the top (which is really the bottom) and those select few, in the most coveted spot, grow fewer as you move to the bottom (which is really the top)! Not only did you learn some authentic Egyptian, you even learned some Economics today about the law of 'Supply and Demand.'
Check back this afternoon (and EVERY Wednesday) for your weekly Getting In Tip of the Week, aptly named, "In like Flynn" (yeah, you like that huh?) and until next Monday, class is dismissed.

Life's A Party, Can You Get In?

No comments:

Post a Comment